They AREN’T helpless! They AREN’T incompetent. They AREN’T disabled.

I’ve been practicing for about 30 years now – most of it in family law, and Florida’s finally doing away with permanent alimony is long overdue – about 150 years overdue, in fact!

A right delayed is a right denied

We all support smashing the ‘glass ceiling’ in the workplace, equal pay for equal work, women in combat, burning bras, and in general any and pretty much every other cause that holds women as competent and capable as men…and that’s the way I certainly raised my own daughter to be.

It’s time to pass a law which finally treats divorced adult women as adults instead of disabled incompetents who cannot survive after divorce with enslaving their ex-husband for life through alimony payments – and vice versa for any man who thinks he is somehow ‘entitled’ to a substantial part of his ex-wife’s income for life so he doesn’t have to act like an adult after his marriage fails!

Alimony is nothing more than an involuntary servitude, and it should have been abolished in 1865 along with the rest of slavery! It apparently only began in old England because there was no other means of equitable distribution since most married couples owned only one asset – their farm. If they divorced, the husband had to keep it since women couldn’t hold title to real property under English Law and thus it couldn’t be split! Also, banks wouldn’t lend husband’s money to buy out their wife’s interest in those days, as banks really only lent to the rich then (merchants, not farmers).

The reason alimony ended upon remarriage of the wife wasn’t because it was support, and it wasn’t to shortchange her equitable distribution share – it was because the woman ceased to exist as a legal entity once she remarried (As Blackstone explained then: “When a man and woman marry, they become one, and the one is a him”). Continue reading “They AREN’T helpless! They AREN’T incompetent. They AREN’T disabled.”

Awareness for Grandparent Alienation

Facebook.com/StandupforZoraya
Facebook.com/StandupforZoraya

It may appear as though the child is happy about their new, parentless status, but suppressing a relationship with the other parent is emotionally unhealthy and impacts them for a lifetime. This is a reality in Albion, PA, where children and parents are impacted, just as it is a reality all across the World. We need to find people who can help.

www.facebook.com/PAPA.fightpas
http://www.facebook.com/PAPA.fightpas

Parental Alienation is a term used to describe the behavior of a parent and often other family members who manipulate a child’s mind with the motive of severing all ties between the child and the other parent. The agenda is packed with various tactics and actions are pre-meditated. When the pressure on the child to remain loyal to the alienating parent becomes too intense, the child gives up, and total rejection of the other parent becomes reality.

Interestingly enough, one elementary school counselor took a brochure but told me she is told “not to get involved” with these situations. My response to her was, “That is a problem.” I have to question if people understand that parental alienation is emotional bruising just as physical abuse leaves visible marks on a child’s body. It harms a child’s development. Do people care or are they ignorant? Are we failing our children by not facing reality? What kind of society do we live in?

Parents who are on a mission to destroy a bond between a child and the other parent can only be punished through the courts and by God. There is little we can do about them and their behavior. They tell others they are “protecting” their child and make the child feel like the other parent is unworthy of a relationship with their child. Something no child should have to hear, for that parent is parent of who they are.

Parents who are on the receiving end of the alienation are often helpless. There is little they can by themselves. They stand helpless, as they watch the relational death between themselves and their children. They watch their children construct a wall between them as a result of the brainwashing. The parents witness the joy being drained out of their children’s lives, as they are asked to spy, lie, and even partake in the intense denigration. They watch their children sabotage their time with them in order to remain abnormally loyal to the alienating parent (and family). Alienated parents cannot help their own children because they are portrayed as the enemy. The courts fail them too.

Family courts embrace adversarial situations and often empower the alienating parent. Alienating parents have passed the course in manipulation and are very convincing. As a result, the courts lack of education, empathy, knowledge of children development or need for power further hurts the child.

The damage caused by the breakup of families is not going away, especially if we continually turn our backs on the abuse. Research shows that 20-25% of children in divorce situations are alienated from a parent. The impact lasts a life time. That was evident as I spoke to adults, in Albion, PA, who were alienated from their children.

Teachers, college professors, pastors, ministers, doctors, counselors, coaches and many others can begin to help children in an area that is desperately needed. Right relationships are what life is all about! Parental alienation is real, parental alienation is child abuse!

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#StandupforZoraya

Learn how this Family Court System is injuring this father and child. Zoraya and David Inguanzo, an…
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Causes - Stnad Up for Zoraya - 2015
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Find Court Qualified “Supervised Visitation Monitor” – Once a week (for one hour) in Miami-Dade or Broward County. As Ordered by Judge Manno-Schurr on February 2nd, 2015. WILL PAY – Contact Stuart H. Abramson, Attorney at Law at (305) 270-7796

This Father’s Day, and every day, all across America, there are children who are being denied access to their fathers, and most of these fathers were in their children’s lives prior.

People must awaken to the truth and the horrors of family law and see how it’s the other parent and the family courts that have bankrupted and broken them down.

Changes must be made to these systems so the court-induced parental alienation immediately ceases from them doing more harm to our children.

How is it in the best interests of our children that their fathers’ driver licenses are suspended, and they are eventually thrown in jail for inability to pay?

Here are fathers who are already broke, bankrupted, and brokenhearted and now without any ability to pay, they order him to pay or go to jail.

Where is someone supposed to come up with that kind of money when they’ve lost everything? Tell me, people. How is this in the best interests of our kids? (Yes, I am not disputing that there are some parents who don’t deserve to be parents — moms and dads.)

But most often, these are loving, “fit” fathers who have been engineered by a system designed to break them down in every way, until all they can do is run.
cropped-contact-denial-is-child-abuse-2016.jpg

Broward County Public School conspires with Judge Manno-Schurr to enable Parental Alienation, a severe form of child abuse.
Broward County Public School conspires with Judge Manno-Schurr to enable Parental Alienation, a severe form of child abuse.

CONTACT DENIAL IS CHILD ABUSE - STAND UP FOR ZORAYA - 2016They are hopeless and the cycle then goes on! What happens to them when they run? They become despondent and commit suicide, like Chris Mackney, or get shot at, like Walter Scott!

Does it make sense to suspend a parent’s drivers license so now they can’t work, can’t get money to pay?

Does it make sense to throw a parent in jail because of an inability to pay, so that while he’s locked up his arrears get worse?

It’s up to us to break the cycle!

Tina Granstrom

Palmetto

Read more here

Grandparent Support

After a recent post on twitter, which caused confusion over Parental and Grandparent Alienation, I  have created a new page with links at the foot of it – to other sites that can explain Grandparent Alienation, please do visit the page and support the campaign.

http://grandparentsupport.org/blanket-awareness-campaign-2015/

Happy Saturday,

Geraldine

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One Day

CONTACT DENIAL IS CHILD ABUSE - STAND UP FOR ZORAYA - 2016Talking about Parental Alienation - - Where'd my Daddy go?

This Father’s Day, and every day, all across America, there are children who are being denied access to their fathers, and most of these fathers were in their children’s lives prior.

People must awaken to the truth and the horrors of family law and see how it’s the other parent and the family courts that have bankrupted and broken them down.

Changes must be made to these systems so the court-induced parental alienation immediately ceases from them doing more harm to our children.

How is it in the best interests of our children that their fathers’ driver licenses are suspended, and they are eventually thrown in jail for inability to pay?

Here are fathers who are already broke, bankrupted, and brokenhearted and now without any ability to pay, they order him to pay or go to jail.

Where is someone supposed to come up with that kind of money when they’ve lost everything? Tell me, people. How is this in the best interests of our kids? (Yes, I am not disputing that there are some parents who don’t deserve to be parents — moms and dads.)

But most often, these are loving, “fit” fathers who have been engineered by a system designed to break them down in every way, until all they can do is run.

They are hopeless and the cycle then goes on! What happens to them when they run? They become despondent and commit suicide, like Chris Mackney, or get shot at, like Walter Scott!

Does it make sense to suspend a parent’s drivers license so now they can’t work, can’t get money to pay?

Does it make sense to throw a parent in jail because of an inability to pay, so that while he’s locked up his arrears get worse?

It’s up to us to break the cycle!

Tina Granstrom

Palmetto

Read more hereWith out a father - 2015cropped-contact-denial-is-child-abuse-2016.jpg

the-pink-slip-project-20165Learn how this Family Court System is injuring this father and child.

PAS Monkeys - 2016

PLEASE HELP ZORAYA Children need both parents to be involved in their lives even when parents don't live together anymore!
PLEASE HELP ZORAYA
Children need both parents to be involved in their lives even when parents don’t live together anymore!
Broward County Public School conspires with Judge Manno-Schurr to enable Parental Alienation, a severe form of child abuse.
Broward County Public School conspires with Judge Manno-Schurr to enable Parental Alienation, a severe form of child abuse.

Find Court Qualified “Supervised Visitation Monitor” – Once a week (for one hour) in Miami-Dade or Broward County. As Ordered by Judge Manno-Schurr on February 2nd, 2015. WILL PAY – Contact Stuart H. Abramson, Attorney at Law at (305) 270-7796

Related articles

Grandparent Support

PLEASE JOIN THE BLANKET AWARENESS CAMPAIGN

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I’m not the best father in the world, but I’m yours.

missing-years-of-my-daughter-life-by-parental-alienation-2016

PLEASE HELP ZORAYA Children need both parents to be involved in their lives even when parents don't live together anymore!
PLEASE HELP ZORAYA
Children need both parents to be involved in their lives even when parents don’t live together anymore!

Find Court Qualified  “Supervised Visitation Monitor” – Once a week (for one hour) in Miami-Dade or Broward County. As Ordered by Judge Manno-Schurr on February 2nd, 2015. WILL PAY – Contact Stuart H. Abramson, Attorney at Law at (305) 270-7796

This Father’s Day, and every day, all across America, there are children who are being denied access to their fathers, and most of these fathers were in their children’s lives prior.

People must awaken to the truth and the horrors of family law and see how it’s the other parent and the family courts that have bankrupted and broken them down.

Changes must be made to these systems so the court-induced parental alienation immediately ceases from them doing more harm to our children.

How is it in the best interests of our children that their fathers’ driver licenses are suspended, and they are eventually thrown in jail for inability to pay?

Here are fathers who are already broke, bankrupted, and brokenhearted and now without any ability to pay, they order him to pay or go to jail.

Where is someone supposed to come up with that kind of money when they’ve lost everything? Tell me, people. How is this in the best interests of our kids? (Yes, I am not disputing that there are some parents who don’t deserve to be parents — moms and dads.)

But most often, these are loving, “fit” fathers who have been engineered by a system designed to break them down in every way, until all they can do is run.

They are hopeless and the cycle then goes on! What happens to them when they run? They become despondent and commit suicide, like Chris Mackney, or get shot at, like Walter Scott!

Does it make sense to suspend a parent’s drivers license so now they can’t work, can’t get money to pay?

Does it make sense to throw a parent in jail because of an inability to pay, so that while he’s locked up his arrears get worse?

It’s up to us to break the cycle!

Tina Granstrom – Palmetto

Read more here

Broward County Public School conspires with Judge Manno-Schurr to enable Parental Alienation, a severe form of child abuse.
Broward County Public School conspires with Judge Manno-Schurr to enable Parental Alienation, a severe form of child abuse.

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Augustine's Asylum



I’m not the best Father in the world, but I’m yours.


Those eerie words plague my memory.

I still hear them, I still dread them.

Your presence has been faint,

yet your words remain omnipresent.

My elusive mind cannot shed

those esoteric syllables.

They torment me.


I’m not the best father in the world, but I’m yours.


This pitiful usage of reverse psychology;

this paltry gesture to instill guilt;

this cowardly act of selfishness.

This technique

that works,

without fault.


I’m not the best father in the world, but I’m yours.


You’ve provided an excuse for

an absence,

a void,

that is, and always will be,

inexcusable.


I’m not the best father in the world, but I’m yours.


In an attempt to find

a father figure,

I’ve found just that—

a figure,

a silhouette;

an empty space,

a voice without a face.


I’m not the best father in the world…

View original post 24 more words

There is a “father factor” in nearly all of the social issues facing America today.

There is a “Father Factor” in Our Nation’s Worst Social Problems

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America — one out of every three — live in biological father-absent homes. Nine in ten American parents agree this is a “crisis.”

Consequently, there is a “father factor” in nearly all of the social issues facing America today. But the hope lies in the fact that children with involved fathers do better across every measure of child well-being than their peers in father-absent homes.

Below is data on the positive impact of father involvement, and data on the effects of father absence on poverty, maternal and child health, incarceration, crime, teen pregnancy, child abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, education, and childhood obesity.

facebook.com/ParentalAlienationMiamiFlorida
facebook.com/ParentalAlienationMiamiFlorida

The Positive Impact of Father Involvement

In a study examining father involvement with 134 children of adolescent mothers over the first 10 years of life, researchers found that father-child contact was associated with better socio-emotional and academic functioning. The results indicated that children with more involved fathers experienced fewer behavioral problems and scored higher on reading achievement. This study showed the significance of the role of fathers in the lives of at-risk children, even in case of nonresident fathers.

Source: Howard, K. S., Burke Lefever, J. E., Borkowski, J.G., & Whitman , T. L. (2006). Fathers’ influence in the lives of children with adolescent mothers. Journal of Family Psychology, 20, 468- 476.

Father Factor in Poverty

Poverty_IconChildren in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor. In 2011, 12 percent of children in married-couple families were living in poverty, compared to 44 percent of children in mother-only families.

Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Children’s Living Arrangements and Characteristics: March 2011, Table C8. Washington D.C.: 2011.

Father Factor in Emotional and Behavioral Problems

Emotional_IconData from three waves of the Fragile Families Study (N= 2,111) was used to examine the prevalence and effects of mothers’ relationship changes between birth and age 3 on their children’s well being. Children born to single mothers show higher levels of aggressive behavior than children born to married mothers. Living in a single-mother household is equivalent to experiencing 5.25 partnership transitions.

Source: Osborne, C., & McLanahan, S. (2007). Partnership instability and child well-being. Journal of Marriage and Family, 69, 1065-1083.

Father Factor in Maternal and Child Health

Maternal_Child_Health_IconInfant mortality rates are 1.8 times higher for infants of unmarried mothers than for married mothers.

Source: Matthews, T.J., Sally C. Curtin, and Marian F. MacDorman. Infant Mortality Statistics from the 1998 Period Linked Birth/Infant Death Data Set. National Vital Statistics Reports, Vol. 48, No. 12. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics, 2000.

Father Factor in Incarceration

Incarceration_IconEven after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds.

Source: Harper, Cynthia C. and Sara S. McLanahan. “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration.” Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397.

Father Factor in Crime

Crime_iconA study of 109 juvenile offenders indicated that family structure significantly predicts delinquency.

Source: Bush, Connee, Ronald L. Mullis, and Ann K. Mullis. “Differences in Empathy Between Offender and Nonoffender Youth.” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 29 (August 2000): 467-478.

Father Factor in Teen Pregnancy & Sexual Activity

Pregnancy_IconBeing raised by a single mother raises the risk of teen pregnancy, marrying with less than a high school degree, and forming a marriage where both partners have less than a high school degree.

Source: Teachman, Jay D. “The Childhood Living Arrangements of Children and the Characteristics of Their Marriages.” Journal of Family Issues 25 (January 2004): 86-111.

Father Factor in Child Abuse

Abuse_IconA study using data from the Fragile Families and Child Well-being Study revealed that in many cases the absence of a biological father contributes to increased risk of child maltreatment. The results suggest that Child Protective Services (CPS) agencies have some justification in viewing the presence of a social father as increasing children’s risk of abuse and neglect. It is believed that in families with a non-biological (social) father figure, there is a higher risk of abuse and neglect to children, despite the social father living in the household or only dating the mother.

Source: “CPS Involvement in Families with Social Fathers.” Fragile Families Research Brief No.46. Princeton, NJ and New York, NY: Bendheim-Thomas Center for Research on Child Wellbeing and Social Indicators Survey Center, 2010.

Father Factor in Drug and Alcohol Abuse

Addiction_IconEven after controlling for community context, there is significantly more drug use among children who do not live with their mother and father.

Source: Hoffmann, John P. “The Community Context of Family Structure and Adolescent Drug Use.” Journal of Marriage and Family 64 (May 2002): 314-330.

Father Factor in Childhood Obesity

Obesity_IconThe National Longitudinal Survey of Youth found that obese children are more likely to live in father-absent homes than are non-obese children.

Source: National Longitudinal Survey of Youth.

Father Factor in Education

Drop_Out_IconFather involvement in schools is associated with the higher likelihood of a student getting mostly A’s. This was true for fathers in biological parent families, for stepfathers, and for fathers heading single-parent families.

Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in Their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics, 2001.

There was this girl that once dreamed of having a relationship with her father but that dream seemed so far out of reach. She saw her father a few times as a child but that was all. She grew up saying “I don’t need a father.”PAS is Child Abuse and Neglect

I Am A Fatherless Daughter - 2015

CARE2.COM

PLEASE HELP ZORAYA Children need both parents to be involved in their lives even when parents don't live together anymore!
PLEASE HELP ZORAYA
Children need both parents to be involved in their lives even when parents don’t live together anymore!

Find Court Qualified “Supervised Visitation Monitor” – Once a week (for one hour) in Miami-Dade or Broward County. As Ordered by Judge Manno-Schurr on February 2nd, 2015. WILL PAY – Contact Stuart H. Abramson, Attorney at Law at (305) 270-7796

facebook.com/ParentalAlienationMiamiFlorida
facebook.com/ParentalAlienationMiamiFlorida

This Father’s Day, and every day, all across America, there are children who are being denied access to their fathers, and most of these fathers were in their children’s lives prior.

People must awaken to the truth and the horrors of family law and see how it’s the other parent and the family courts that have bankrupted and broken them down.

Changes must be made to these systems so the court-induced parental alienation immediately ceases from them doing more harm to our children.

How is it in the best interests of our children that their fathers’ driver licenses are suspended, and they are eventually thrown in jail for inability to pay?

Here are fathers who are already broke, bankrupted, and brokenhearted and now without any ability to pay, they order him to pay or go to jail.

Where is someone supposed to come up with that kind of money when they’ve lost everything? Tell me, people. How is this in the best interests of our kids? (Yes, I am not disputing that there are some parents who don’t deserve to be parents — moms and dads.)

But most often, these are loving, “fit” fathers who have been engineered by a system designed to break them down in every way, until all they can do is run.

They are hopeless and the cycle then goes on! What happens to them when they run? They become despondent and commit suicide, like Chris Mackney, or get shot at, like Walter Scott!

Does it make sense to suspend a parent’s drivers license so now they can’t work, can’t get money to pay?

Does it make sense to throw a parent in jail because of an inability to pay, so that while he’s locked up his arrears get worse?

It’s up to us to break the cycle!

Tina Granstrom

Palmetto

Read more here

Broward County Public School conspires with Judge Manno-Schurr to enable Parental Alienation, a severe form of child abuse.
Broward County Public School conspires with Judge Manno-Schurr to enable Parental Alienation, a severe form of child abuse.

By: Calandra Thompson

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12 https://www.biblegateway.com

FatherlessPhoto Credit: Google Images

There was this girl that once dreamed of having a relationship with her father but that dream seemed so far out of reach. She saw her father a few times as a child but that was all. She grew up saying “I don’t need a father.”

Years went by and she didn’t think much about ever seeking to fix those broken pieces. Oh but wait she thought she was fine. I think deep down inside she longed for that relationship with her father. You could tell by the choices she made with men.  She needed the piece of the puzzle to be filled.

A couple of years ago, she did some research, find her father and he was…

View original post 193 more words

The depth of a woman’s attachment to her father is profound.

The Face of Fatherloss

The quintessential image of father loss.

We are not makers of history. We are made by history.
We are not makers of history. We are made by history.

A few weeks ago, millions of us around the world wept as we watched 11-year-old Paris Jackson, daughter of pop-icon Michael Jackson, break down as she spoke at her father’s funeral service. “Ever since I was born,” Paris said, “Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. And I just want to say I love him so much.” For me, in her pain, Paris Jackson was the quintessential embodiment of father loss.

Next week, I will publish a book entitled Fatherless Daughters; Turning the Pain of Loss Into the Power of Forgiveness. It’s a look at the effects of father loss on girls, and the women they become.

As you might imagine, I’m a fatherless daughter. My dad died of pancreatic cancer when I was 10, and my book grew from a personal wish to understand what I had missed not having grown up with my dad. I also strongly suspected that other women who had lost their fathers felt as I did-aware that their dad’s loss had affected them, but not quite able to articulate how. So I interviewed over 100 women whose fathers had either died or abandoned the family before the girls turned 18. This book is the result of those talks. (I also did quite a bit of additional reading, research, and interviews with professionals in the worlds of psychology and sociology.)

I learned a tremendous amount. Some factors were utterly expected, almost clichéd; such as that a woman’s romantic relationships are dramatically affected by father loss. Other findings were delightfully surprising, including the reality that most fathers are more interested in their daughter’s physical health and well-being than in her relative beauty.

Here is a list of the 12 essential factors I concluded about father loss:
1. The depth of a woman’s attachment to her father is profound. Whether the relationship was good or bad, long or short, happy or sad, her father has had an enormous impact on her life, and his influence will never end.
2. Fear of abandonment is the hallmark of the fatherless daughter. Directly linked to fear of abandonment are many other emotional problems, including issues with intimacy, sex, trust, commitment, shame, and most of all, anger.
3. Death of a father, because of its finality, is commonly thought to offer closure to a fatherless daughter. This is not necessarily true.
4. Abandonment by a father, if the father is still alive, is commonly thought to offer hope to a fatherless daughter. This is not necessarily true.
5. If your mother coped with strength, intelligence, and empathy toward you after your father’s death or abandonment, the chances are good that you were spared many of the problems faced by fatherless daughters.
6. Stepfathers can be a God-send or a tragedy.
7. Alcoholism is a frequent problem among the mothers, fathers, and stepfathers of fatherless daughters.
8. If, as an adult, you have put together a happy relationship with a husband or partner, you are well on your way toward resolving your father loss issues.
9. Your life would not necessarily have been better if your father had been present in the family; different, certainly, but not necessarily better.
10. You are not responsible for hurts you endured as a child, but you are responsible for your life today. You must rely on yourself.
11. It’s never too late to “find” your dad-and to come to terms with his loss.
12. Coming to terms with the loss of your dad–and forgiving all those who may have let you down– is liberating, freeing you to experience life, love, peace, and happiness.

Continue reading “The depth of a woman’s attachment to her father is profound.”

America’s Fatherless

safe and loved (2)

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Learn how this Family Court System is injuring this father and child. Zoraya and David Inguanzo, an…

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JRow Art

JROW MAY 2015 FATHERLESS 1

Fatherless #1, Motherless/Fatherless series, watercolor and acrylic on paper, 16×20 (5/31/15)

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Severe Effects of PAS — Do You Know The Symptoms?

Parental Alienation Syndrome is the deliberate attempt by one parent to distance his/her children from the other parent.

Parental Alienation is Psychological Child Abuse

Parental Alienation:
Do You Know The Symptoms?

Linda Gottlieb Quote Parental Alienation - 2015Missing the Alienation

By Linda Kase-Gottlieb, LMFT, LCSW-r

Why do mental health professionals and attorneys who evaluate or work with alienated children frequently mistake alienation for estrangement?

The main reason is that cases of parental alienation are counter intuitive.  That is, the brain is hardwired to misinterpret and misunderstand the family dynamics in these situations.  That leads to a number of common cognitive errors (thinking errors) that, in turn, lead to serious errors in professional reasoning and decision-making. In other words, The brain is tricked by alienation cases just as it is tricked by an optical illusion.

Consequently, many professionals, including mental health professionals and attorneys, get these cases backwards. Often, the targeted parent is unfairly criticized for having allegedly contributed to his or her rejection, and the alienating parent is either absolved or believed to have made only a minor contribution. Thus, unless the professional has an in-depth understanding of alienation and estrangement, cases of severe alienation are frequently mistaken for estrangement. More…

DIVORCESUPPORT.ABOUT.COM|BY CATHY W. MEYER
Originally posted on New Fathers 4 Justice – Direct Action Dads:  by NetworkedBlogs · Should absent fathers be punished for not…

AMERICAN DADS

Which gender is most likely to initiate PAS?

Gardner’s statistics showed that the majority of PAS occurrences were initiated by mothers. Mothers have traditionally had primary custody of children (although before the 20th century it normally belonged to the father), and the mothers usually spend more time with the children. 

In order for a campaign of alienation to occur, one parent needs to have considerable time with the child. However, in recent years increasing numbers of fathers have started instigating PAS, since there are few legal sanctions for doing so.

I’ve seen several dramatic cases where the father was the alienator. 

In one case, the father had no control over his obsession to trash the mother. 

Numerous professionals told him, including the mother, that he could have shared custody if he would be willing to follow the rules. He didn’t have the self-control to do this. 

When he lost custody because of his aberrant behavior, he became a celebrity in the father’s rights movement and took his campaign into national circles. No one would know from hearing him speak about his situation that there was serious pathology going on (PAS) or how hard the professionals worked to stabilize it.

Moreover, in cultures where women traditionally have no tangible rights, alienation by the father can be severe. 

I’ve met divorcing women who had been prevented from learning how to make a living to support themselves. At the time of separation all access to financial resources were stopped and the children removed from her care. These women reported severe alienation of affection. 

It makes one grateful to have laws that protect human rights and enforce a better way of resolving conflict than a winner-take all approach.

Parental Alienation

Gardner’s definition of PAS is:

1. The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. 

2. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. 

3. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) of a parent’s indoctrinations and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the targeted parent.

Excerpted from: Gardner, R.A. (1998). The Parental Alienation Syndrome, Second Edition, Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics, Inc.

http://www.breakthroughparenting.com/PAS.htm

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Parental Alienation and Estrangement Hurts Siblings

Parental Alienation does hurt siblings. It destroys the family, and creates victims in the children left behind who grieve the loss of their siblings. Parental Alienation inflicts real emotional and psychological abuse on siblings who are caught in the crossfire, or intentionally made a victim.

My son wanders around the house looking for his brother and “sissy”. He cannot understand why they cannot home. And does not understand why they are so far away. Just today my son put all of his toy cars into his sister’s Hello Kitty lunchbox, and carried it with him to school. This is his way of being close to “Sissy”. My son likes to listen to the music his brother enjoys, and dances on the chair…and just when he is about to laugh really loud, he grows quiet, his face falls, and he asks where his brother is or can we go pick him up…or when will he be home. The worst part is that there is no answer for him. It is a loss without definition or closure.

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— Emily Court, © May 2015
Parents who lost custody of children for no reason ( emotional support )

Continue reading “Parental Alienation and Estrangement Hurts Siblings”

Fit Parents decide what is in the ‘best interests’ of their Children.

Family Law Reform Rally - 2016“What a Child Lacks”

“Changing a child last name (away from the father’s) is an act of venom”
“Changing a child last name (away from the father’s) is an act of venom”

— July 8, 2015

In its 1979 parental rights decision Parham v. J.R., the United States Supreme Court declared, “The law’s concept of the family rests on the presumption that parents possess what a child lacks in maturity, experience, and capacity for judgment required for making life’s difficult decisions.”Unfortunately, a bill recently passed by the New Jersey legislature completely throws out this presumption.

Assembly bill 3435 (A3435), “The Boys and Girls Clubs Keystone Law,” adds to New Jersey law that “when a minor believes that he or she is in need of behavioral health care services for the treatment of mental illness or emotional disorders, the minor’s consent to treatment…shall be valid and binding as if the minor had achieved the age of majority.”

This is scary enough if it puts a 16- or 17-year-old in the position to make such a serious and difficult health decision. But under this irresponsible bill, a child of any age could give legally binding consent for such treatments. There is no requirement for parental consent or even notification – for any child!

Of course, when we learned of A3435 we urged New Jersey supporters to call for its defeat and, more recently, for Governor Christie to veto it. So far, he has not done so.

Sadly, this bill reflects the growing dangerous trend of cutting parents out of the lives of their children. The new “wisdom” seems to hold that children are best left up to government experts or, barring that, their own devices.

It is the same argument used by the internationalists who push for the United Nations’ Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC). They argue for children’s rights to make their own decisions and not be “burdened” by the superior wisdom and experience of their parents.

But that isn’t really the way life works. At some point, that decision is going to be made by an adult, whether it is the parent or an agent of the state.

The Parham Court recognized that dichotomy. “Simply because the decision of a parent is not agreeable to a child, or because it involves risks, does not automatically transfer the power to make that decision from parents to some agency or officer of the state,” Chief Justice Warren Burger wrote for the Court. “Most children, even in adolescence, simply are not able to make sound judgments concerning many decisions, including their need for medical care or treatment. Parents can and must make those judgments” (emphasis added).

The internationalists recognize the dichotomy, too – and simply hope the rest of us don’t notice. In speaking of the CRC’s “best interest of the child” provision, international legal scholar and CRC advocate Geraldine Van Bueren writes, Best interests provides decision and policy makers with the authority to substitute their own decisions for either the child’s or the parents’, providing it is based on considerations of the best interest of the child.”

So if the parents and the child disagree in court, the judge gets to make the final call – not the child. What’s more, under the “best interest” principle, the judge still gets to make the call even if the parent and child agree with each other, but happen to both disagree with the state.

In neither system, then, does the child get to make his own decisions. He lacks the mental and emotional capacity to do so. In the traditional American system, the parents are the safeguard to fill that lack and protect their child. In the new internationalist norm, the State is responsible to second-guess the child “for his own good.”

A3435 claims to let the child stand or fall completely on his own. But at some point, unless we protect the traditional role of parents, it will be an agent of the State who ultimately gets to decide. We agree with Chief Justice Burger: “Parents can and must make those judgments.”Parental RightsAction Items

If you live in New Jersey, please take a moment to read our action alert here andcall on Governor Christie to veto this dangerous legislation.

And wherever you live, plan now to participate in National Parental Rights Week beginning July 20. To take part, plan with your family or friends how you can fill up one petition sheet (just 16 signatures!) of new supporters of the Parental Rights effort. Will you host a car wash? A barbecue? Or maybe just go door-to-door? Maybe you can reach out to folks at church, or sign up other parents of your child’s summer sports team.

However you choose to join in, know that standing together we can protect children – like those in New Jersey – by empowering parents to make those hard decisions with them and on their behalf.

Parents, not bureaucrats, will best decide what is right for their child.

Thank you for standing with us in this all-important battle!

Sincerely,

Michael Ramey
Director of Communications & ResearchState of Florida Parental Rights

"The liberty of parents to direct the upbringing, education, and care of their children..." In the 1925 decision of Pierce v. Society of Sisters, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down a compulsory attendance act that required all parents to send their students to public schools, instead of private or religious schools. The court concluded that the act was unconstitutional because it "unreasonably interferes with the liberty of parents and guardians to direct the upbringing and education of children under their control." "...is a fundamental right."
“The liberty of parents to direct the upbringing, education, and care of their children…”
In the 1925 decision of Pierce v. Society of Sisters, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down a compulsory attendance act that required all parents to send their students to public schools, instead of private or religious schools. The court concluded that the act was unconstitutional because it “unreasonably interferes with the liberty of parents and guardians to direct the upbringing and education of children under their control.”
“…is a fundamental right.”

That when a Child is born, both biological Parents have a right to know.Family Law Reform - 2016

A Child has a right to both Parents in their lives.

Facebook.com/StandupforZoraya
Facebook.com/StandupforZoraya

Fit Parents decide what is in the ‘best interests’ of their Children.No Test of Parenting FITNESS - 2015

Good, average, and poor Parents are Fit and Equal Parents.

That you and your spouse have a right to be presumed Fit and Equal Parents (equal in terms of both physical and legal custody).

If anyone (a spouse, relative, social services) wishes to challenge these rights, you have:
1) The right to counsel.
2) The right to be presumed a fit Parent, innocent, and deserving of an equal relationship with your kids.
3) The right to protection of a criminal jury. The “state” needs to prove you were a demonstrated serious and intentional threat to your Child’s safety and that you acted with mal-intent towards your Children.
Supported by: http://www.AKidsRight.Org 

The WordPress.com Blog

Looking for summer reading suggestions? Or perhaps winter reading suggestions, should your hemisphere be the Southern one? Look no further than these three authors who — like you — make their online home at WordPress.com.

Claire Fuller

Claire Fuller‘s debut novel, Our Endless Numbered Days, has been called “impossible to put down” by Amy Gentry at the Chicago Tribune.

PreviewClaire began writing at age 40, after co-leading a marketing agency for many years. The book has been shortlisted for the Desmond Elliott Prize, which is awarded annually to a first novel written in English and published in the United Kingdom.

Claire is a prolific blogger who likes to share her flash fiction and offer writing advice. Why not pick up a copy of Our Endless Numbered Days and then see if your location is on Claire’s upcoming events list?

Here’s a synopsis

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