Alienation by Fire

We’ve all heard of the term “Baptism by Fire” but, I wonder how many have ever considered its meaning. In the Christian biblical sense, it essentially means that it is a baptism by the spirit and the trial of one’s faith. This means that a believer’s faith is tested or tried through some sort of difficulty or a series of mental and physical trials.

However, this meaning has largely been replaced and the meaning most often used according to the definition used by the Oxford dictionary is, ‘a difficult introduction to a new job or activity’. One example of this is of a soldier’s first experience of battle. ‘Baptism’ because battle is new to him and ‘fire’ from the firing of guns that is, he is ‘under fire’.

When we look at both explanations, we can actually see similarities that can be equated to the tests of which we face through the struggles in the alienation of our children. This is when we are tested in our faith that we will be reunited with our children. The other aspect of this, is that alienation is new to us and how we respond to the many obstacles is critical.i-survived-parental-alianation-2016

Continue reading “Alienation by Fire”

Denial of reasonable access to your own kids is child abuse​

Denial of reasonable access to your own kids is child abuse

January 24th, 2015 – I expressed my concerns for Zoraya’s behavior to three Supervised Visitation Monitor/Reporter after visit with daughter. For Zoraya’s safety and well-being!! The Supervised Visitation Supervisor Linda Fieldstone referred me back to Judge Manno-Schurr and she unjustly suspended my visits and contact with Zoraya..It’s okay to be with one of my children but not the other???

read petition letter ▾

PETITIONER/FATHER’S AMENDED SUPPLEMENTAL PETITION TO MODIFY VISITATION/TIMESHARING, AND ESTABLISH PARENTING PLAN

I, David M. Inguanzo in Propia Persona, being sworn, certify that the following information is true:

The parties to this action were granted a Final Judgment of Paternity on July 8th, 2010. That said Final Judgment and documents incorporated thereto, established the Timesharing and Parental Responsibility of the parties with the subject minor child, ZN, date of birth October 5th, 2006. A copy of the Final Judgment of Paternity dated 7/8/2010 is attached hereto and incorporated herein as Exhibit A.

read petition letter ▾

Source: petition: Denial of reasonable access to your own kids is child abuse, Miami, FL

False Domestic Violence Accusations and Restraining Orders For Court-Sponsored Parental Alienation

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False Protection Orders To Enable Parental Alienation is Child Abuse

| Falsely Accused |

This issue is one that has been brought to my attention on many occasions and it is something that not only infuriates me, due to the forced abuse on the child or children involved, but the fact that some Family Courts are enabling this abuse and any child abuse is illegal under all Laws in every state and yet some courts and judges are actually encouraging it and ignoring the devastation that it causes on the innocent victim the child or children who irrespective of how much their parents may hate each other, they still love them unconditionally as mom & dad, and should be allowed to have both in their lives.

A Protective Order is issued or should be issued solely to protect one person from another and possibly a child if there has been proven abuse on this child and on the person filing for the order. However far too many women in particular are Abusing the courts and these orders so that they can keep the child away from their father. This is not out of fear NO this is out of them manipulating the system and playing victim when in many cases, they are the abuser and they are who the child needs protecting from and not the loving dad. A proportion of attorneys are as guilty as these women are as they know full well that there is no need for a order of protection but the $$$$ is more important to them, rather than the welfare of a child which should be paramount in any court.

Far too many women are now abusing these orders so that they can ensure their ex and the father of their child can’t see, speak or have visitation with their child. As to do so would be to breach the order of protection that the mom filed and sadly many file it out of malice and not out of any fear at all. He is in a catch 22 situation. Either he risks contacting her so as to organize to spend time with his child or children and she files a breach of the order, OR he has to follow the order and then his rights under any Custody Order are been breached as he can’t get to spend the time with his child or children. This is called Parental Alienation and under the US Senate it is considered a form of Child Abuse. So why are so many Judges and Attorney’s getting away with Enabling the Abuse of an innocent child without them having a basis to do so.

No child asks to have a particular mom or dad, but they love them all the same. And yet these children are been used as pawns just so that one vindictive and controlling parent usually the abuser herself but who has filed for the Protection Order, simply so as to hurt her ex and because she knows that she can. This is wrong and these women should be held accountable for their actions I know of one incident were the father was not even notified of the court proceedings, nor his attorney and an Extended Protection Order was granted and he now hasn’t seen his child in months, solely because she is too young to contact directly and he doesn’t want to be charged with breaching the order. This is total Child Abuse and very wrong and criminal in my opinion.

Continue reading “False Domestic Violence Accusations and Restraining Orders For Court-Sponsored Parental Alienation”

Higher Destiny

Higher Destiny

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A Neglected Public Issue

A Neglected Public Issue

The trauma of waking up without my child

afla:

American Fathers Liberation: The trauma of waking up without my child

Dear Mom and Dad, Please remember my life has been turned upside down and I never had a vote.

Divorce Visitation Requests from Your Child (by: Dr. Anne Brown, PhD, RN) – DivorceForce


Dear Mom and Dad,


Please remember my life has been turned upside down and I never had a vote. I don’t have a rulebook to negotiate waters totally unfamiliar to me. It is really hard for me to understand that my family has broken up. I feel scared that I will loose one or both of you. I don’t know what to do with all the bad feelings I have. It would really mean a lot to me if you could do a few things to help me with the land mines I seem to be stepping on. Thanks for taking the time to listen.

1. Remember Your “ex” is my Family!
FAMILY-where-life-begins-and-love-never-endsI now have the best and worst of both of you. I don’t get to divorce anyone. Whatever you didn’t like about your spouse, I now have to deal with all by myself. I don’t know how, so I am going to have to figure that out without a rule- book. Your “ex” is my Dad or Mom so if you can’t help me have a good relationship, please don’t make things more difficult.

2. Don’t Use Me!

#StandupforZorayaI am not your messenger. Do not interrogate me. I don’t know what will upset you. I am going to have to figure the “what information goes where” thing and that in itself is pretty crazy for my age. Do not “dump” your anger at your “ex” on me please. When I start to look, sound, and have mannerisms, like my parent your “ex” don’t be surprised and don’t blame me. You at one time wanted me to be a combination of both of you, remember!

When you interrogate me to get information about what is going on in “the other house” and you use that information for your “ex” issues, I will probably get in trouble. Make it safe for me to come to you to be able to talk about and get tools to handle things I don’t know how to handle in “the other house”.

Continue reading “Dear Mom and Dad, Please remember my life has been turned upside down and I never had a vote.”

The Alienating Parents’ Tool Of Choice

Persuasive Rhetoric
The Tool of Choice for the Alienating Parent

Emotional Child Abuse - 2016Persuasive Rhetoric refers to using language in an emotionally laden manner with the purpose of convincing the audience of some particular perspective.

Persuasive Rhetoric is a tool for selling ideas, beliefs and positions on a given topic or subject. It is unrelated to truth. It only refers to the spin, the story and the goal of winning over the audience. Nothing in the message requires truth.

saddest-thing-in-the-world-20161In the case of Parental Alienation, this concept is useful in that it describes a favorite modus operandi that the alienating parent uses to vilify the targeted parent.

In this context, the alienating parent will allege something either entirely untrue or grossly distorted regarding the targeted parent. It is done with such emotion and tenacity, that the audience is typically drawn into its message. Then the alienating parent does the same thing with another listener. Now there is a group of three who all believe the same either untrue or grossly distorted thing.

There are now three voices in this chorus, and the intensity level tends to increase with the volume and the numbers of those involved. Then someone in this group of three relates this to another person, who questions it but is told that several other people told them the same thing, so it must be true. This new “convert” to the distortion then unwittingly spreads the distortion to someone else, and to someone else, and to someone else.

Socrates, the story goes, is approached by a man who wants to tell him some urgent news. Before he does this, Socrates stops him and says he would first like to ask him three questions before he tells his story. The man agrees.

The first question is, “do you know the person to whom this news occurred?”

Answer: “No, but I know someone who does know them. “

Question two: “did you witness the event yourself?”

Answer: “No, but I spoke to someone who was there.”

Question Three: ” Is the news good or bad?”

Answer: “It would be considered bad news.”

Socrates reviews accordingly, “You do not know the person to whom this happened, you only heard about it from someone who says they were there, and it is bad news. Thank you, but I think I would rather not listen to this news.”

Rightly or wrongly, we humans do tend to be herd animals. Due to our wiring and our evolution, when the herd is exposed to some message that is potentially dangerous or at least negative, we do tend to give it extra weight, and then pass it on.

This is a self-protective reflex that is easily exploited by the alienating parent in their mission to obliterate the targeted parent in Parental Alienation cases.

http://drbobevans.com/
“There are some who say Parental Alienation is a new concept and should be replaced with other verbiage more grounded in established psychological research. I’m not too sure where this comment is coming from but to help clarify the situation, there are 94 pages of references, peer review articles, books, journal articles and other works that make reference to Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome and the phenomenon of alienation some go back to the 1940’s. So it is hardly the case that Parental Alienation is a new concept; clearly it’s not.” ~ www.drbobevans.com

Since the words “Parental Alienation” were first uttered within a family court room, it comes as no surprise that the echoes emanating from adversaries within both the mental health and legal environments have blurred and tarnished the very concept and, at times, left it unrecognizable. The side opposing an assertion of Parental Alienation is tasked with discrediting, disputing and demeaning it, hoping to convince the court to ultimately reject it. The adversarial process within the family court will predictably batter the concept about a good deal. Consequently, much misinformation, partial information and outright untruths and fabrications emerge and begin to fester.

When one considers that arguing attorneys and family law judges typically learn about Parental Alienation via arguments, examinations and cross examinations in court, it should not be surprising that such understandings are usually limited to the facts of a particular case, and are not necessarily characteristic of specific knowledge acquisition. In other words, the understandings about Parental Alienation as born through litigation are anecdotal and unique, far from a balanced and complete instruction. Judges and attorneys may hear about Parental Alienation from expert witnesses who have essentially been hired to discredit it or to assert it, and their information may be distorted or contaminated by the need to persuade (i.e., biased). In other words, the adversarial environment where it is argued is ripe for distortions and partial truths. What is important to know is that there have been specific arguments created to discredit it that can be shown to be absolutely false. For example, the argument that it is not accepted by the professional community can be shown to be absolutely false. The argument about its presence or absence in the DSM-5 can be answered completely and affirmatively. The argument that it is “junk science” can be shown to be completely unsupported by the scientific literature.

Announcing the National Association of Parental Alienation Specialists & 2-Day Symposium “Effective Litigation of Parental Alienation”The two day course offered by NAPAS is designed not only to provide a full and complete picture of parental alienation but to impart practical strategies to attorneys representing either a rejected parent or an alienating parent and the course material is supported by the scientific literature and professional consensus.

Recent Updates

I Love My Daughter

Simple Gestures That Say, “I Love My Daughter.”

One my favorite parts of each day is when I arrive home. When I come to the front door, it is locked. Before I can unlock it with my key, I hear the sound of my little daughter fiddling with the doorknob on the other side. She knows it’s me, but remains quiet until the door opens and we make eye contact. Then she starts jumping up and down like she’s in the student section at a college basketball game. She continues jumping before finally yelling, “Daddy!” Her simple show of excitement makes me feel special and loved.

There is nothing like the love of a daughter to make even the worst days wonderful. The reverse is equally true. The love of a father powerfully reassures security and self-confidence. [Tweet This] However, it needs to be clearly displayed and communicated. Here are simple gestures that say, “I love my daughter.”

Physical Affection

Give her kisses and hugs. She’ll probably expect them when you greet her or when saying goodbye. The ones that will make her feel especially loved are the spontaneous ones. Also, occasionally, hold her hand when you sit or walk with her. These are tender touches that communicate she is precious to you.

Compliment Her

Do this privately, but also publicly with her present. She may tell you it embarrasses her, but down deep, she’ll be beaming. Don’t use false compliments just to make her feel good. Think through and find the things about her that merit compliments. Focus on affirming her nonphysical qualities as much or more than her physical ones.

Know Her Favorite Things

Know her favorite drink, foods, band, actors, restaurants, books, subjects in school, etc. Study these things. Read her favorite book or watch her favorite movie with her. When providing snacks or packing a lunch for her, you can include her favorites. Showing her that you pay attention to her “small” nuances will make her feel loved in a big way.

Spontaneous One-on-One Time Together

Take her out for a coffee, dinner or a walk. Take her for a picnic and pack her favorite foods. Nothing makes someone feel more special than setting aside time to be with them. Get some focused time with her.

Written Note

This is unfortunately becoming a lost art. You don’t have to be Shakespeare. Just a couple of words written on a piece of paper are perfect. It can be as simple as “I love you.” Write “Who loves you?” on one side of the card and “Your daddy does” on the other side. Surprise her by leaving these notes in places she will find them. Her mirror is a great place, especially if the reflection makes her insecure.

SOUND OFF

What have you done lately to show your love for your daughter?

Do you love your daughter, but struggle with ways to show her? Here are some simple gestures that say “I love my daughter” and let her know how your feel.

Source: Simple Gestures That Say, “I Love My Daughter.” – All Pro Dad : All Pro Dad

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Find Cause Bigger Than Self

About

Fighting to preserve Parent–Child relationships to improve the lives of children and strengthen society by protecting the child’s right to the love and care of both parents after separation/divorce.

“Children’s Rights” is not just about Fathers, it’s also about Children, Mothers, Families, Public Advocacy, Civil Rights and Liberties. This Children’s Rights Facebook Group, Page and Cause have been created for positive outreach, networking, distribution and discussion of information related to our cause.

CHILDREN’S RIGHTS
• A continuing relationship with both parents.

• Be treated not as a piece of property, but as a human being recognized to have unique feelings, ideas, and desires consistent with that of an individual.

• Continuing care and proper guidance from each parent.

• Not to be unduly influenced by either parent to view the other parent differently.

• Express love, friendship, and respect for both parents: freedom from having to hide those stated emotions or made to be ashamed of such.

• An explanation that the impending action of divorce was in no way caused by the child’s actions.

• Not to be the subject and/or source of any and all arguments.

• Continuing, honest feedback with respect to the divorce process and its impact on the changing relationships of the family.

• Maintain regular contact with both parents and a clear explanation for any change in plans and/or cancellations.

• Enjoy a pleasurable relationship with both parents, never to be employed as a manipulative bargaining tool.

• The obligation of being a parent does not end after a divorce.

It is extremely important to understand that the bond of marriage is completely different from that of parents. This is the most common downfall in today’s society, as a dissolution of marriage takes place so does that of parenting.

 

A WORD ABOUT SELF REPRESENTATION ~ The Sixth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution has been interpreted to provide EVERY AMERICAN with the CONSTITUTIONAL right to self-representation, if they so choose. That privilege, like all other constitutional rights, should be enjoyed without fear of harassment, prejudice, or abuse.

Furthermore, no law, regulation, or policy should exist to abridge or surreptitiously extinguish that right. Self-Represented Litigants have no less of a right to FAIR and MEANINGFUL due process under the federal and state constitutions as those individuals who choose to utilize an attorney for their legal affairs and issues. In fact, NOWHERE in any state or federal constitution does it specify that the hiring of a lawyer is a prerequisite to exercising one’s due process rights.

Democratic principles dictate that we have the right to freely choose between self-representation and hiring a lawyer to handle our legal matters without suffering humiliation, prejudice, or penalization. After all, it is the parties to the litigation that ultimately have to deal with the consequences of the case’s outcome, and not the judge or the lawyers involved in the matter.

Contrary to the view of certain judges and lawyers, those who opt to litigate their own legal matters without an attorney are NOT second-class citizens deserving of contempt and injustice. Instead, they are BRAVE CITIZENS with an inalienable right to have their legal causes adjudicated objectively and justly — with or without a lawyer.

Self-representation can be a difficult, time-consuming, and often frightening experience, especially for those burdened by demanding work schedules, family responsibilities, and other obligations of day-to-day living.

Accordingly, those who engage in the difficult task of self-litigation should be REVERED for their COURAGE and DEDICATION, not scorned or abused.

We also need to amass momentous opposition against those persons, agencies, and institutions who, in the interest of protecting huge profits, careers, and prestige, subject self-litigants to a hostile and often abusive litigation atmosphere calculated to suppress self-representation and force people to become completely and financially dependent on lawyers to gain “paid” access to a taxpayer-funded legal system.

http://www.iloveandneedmydaughter.blogspot.com

 

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Dr. Jennifer Kane, sociologist at the University of North Carolina, discusses her recent study regarding the non-monetary support provided by low-income non-custodial fathers and how the research further debunks the deadbeat dad myth.

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