I don’t know if this is an appropriate post for this group, and I know I am not a Father, or a man – I just felt inclined to write something from the perspective of a child – that has seen a father, my father, go through what so many of you are going through.
I know I can never fully fathom what my Father had went through, let alone the pain that is in all of your hearts, after being separated from your children – it’s absolutely devastating, and sickening that Mothers can turn so manipulative and mean, and cause so much pain, using children as a manipulation tactic against you. I know even after all of my Father’s rights were taken away (literally, from weekend visits, to supervised visits) because my Mother, like many of your ex’s lied to the court system, and completely eradicated any rights he did have.
My father once fought to the extremity to just even see us, call us, talk to us for five minutes on the phone, and it makes me so sad to know how much time had been wasted, not being able to even connect with my Father. With that being said there is hope, and this is what this comment was about. I know usually it does not come granted through the court system, since it’s completely biased, and one sided, but there is hope.
Never give up, because your children, everyday, think about you. Miss you, love you, and you are in their hearts and you will forever have a place there, there is nothing in this world that could replace you, you are planted there, like a tree, with roots of love that will never be eradicated by any court system, any manipulative mother, any lies, distance or time. I know there wasn’t a day that didn’t go by I didn’t think about my Father, and despite how I was deluded at a young age into believing my Father had neglected me, and abandoned me, i came to the realization the only person who lied to me was, of course, my Mother.
Through the pain, I still carried him with me in my heart, and everything that I am now, is because of the influence of my father – the memories I carried through out the years of him, the times we had together, most of my memories are tinged with him. I know this doesn’t change any of your situations. I don’t even know if this is appropriate. Just a comment of encouragement, reminding you all, that in all of your children’s heart, you are there – and you take up the vast majority. Despite your ex’s manipulative tactics, despite everything that has happened, despite the distance and time that goes by. You are there. In their hearts, and they will grow up and come to the realization, just how great of Fathers you all are. They will perceive further than the lies that their mothers have cast out, and when the courts or their Mothers have no hold on them anymore, they will find a way back to you.
Never give up – you are their light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how hard and how painful it is – and trust me, seeing how broken my father was, I have an idea of how hard it truly is, how much pain emitted from him. Again I cannot truly understand. I just wanted to tell you all, in case you were on the verge of giving up, or thinking that it’s too late, or that the mothers have completely brainwashed them. From the eyes of a child who saw this happen to my Father, just know. You are in our hearts, forever and always.
Amber Dawn – Nov 1