Alienation by Fire

We’ve all heard of the term “Baptism by Fire” but, I wonder how many have ever considered its meaning. In the Christian biblical sense, it essentially means that it is a baptism by the spirit and the trial of one’s faith. This means that a believer’s faith is tested or tried through some sort of difficulty or a series of mental and physical trials.

However, this meaning has largely been replaced and the meaning most often used according to the definition used by the Oxford dictionary is, ‘a difficult introduction to a new job or activity’. One example of this is of a soldier’s first experience of battle. ‘Baptism’ because battle is new to him and ‘fire’ from the firing of guns that is, he is ‘under fire’.

When we look at both explanations, we can actually see similarities that can be equated to the tests of which we face through the struggles in the alienation of our children. This is when we are tested in our faith that we will be reunited with our children. The other aspect of this, is that alienation is new to us and how we respond to the many obstacles is critical.i-survived-parental-alianation-2016

Continue reading “Alienation by Fire”

Top 10 Corrupt Judges

…include a federal superhuman, state gunslinger and family court pedophile

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Continue reading “Top 10 Corrupt Judges”

Still the most insidious and evil thing to do to children

logo2b2-2b2016Parental Alienation Syndrome Isn’t in the DSM…YET, but It’s in Plenty of Arguments

Following the 2009 in vitro-assisted birth of Gus, a very public legal argument broke out between mother Danielle Schreiber and her former boyfriend and the child’s sperm donor, Jason Patric. Patric, a well-known actor who starred in films such as The Lost Boys and Speed 2: Cruise Control, petitioned for parental rights, arguing that he and Schreiber had been partners for years, and that he had every intention of fathering the child. He says he kept his name off the birth certificate to protect Gus from media attention.

Schreiber, citing section 7613(b) of California’s Family Code, maintains that as a sperm donor, and with no written agreement to the contrary in place before the child’s birth, Patric does not have any parental rights. In addition, Schreiber, through her lawyers, tells Newsweek that she and Patric never agreed to be co-parents, and that Patric never showed any intent of wanting to be the child’s father.

A 29-page letter written sent by Patric in late 2008 or early 2009 to Schreiber portrays a tortured man who ultimately says he’s not ready for fatherhood, but would act as a sperm donor as a “gift” to the woman he had loved, as long as she kept it a secret.

The trial court sided with Schreiber, awarding her full custody of Gus. A Domestic Violence Restraining Order was also issued against Patric by the trial court on November 25, 2013; in an email to Newsweek Schreiber’s legal team says this was in response to past instances of verbal, physical, and emotional abuse (including anti-Semitic remarks) levied by Patric towards Schreiber.

Continue reading “Still the most insidious and evil thing to do to children”

Letter To Mothers With Daughters

Facebook.com/StandupforZoraya

Dear Mothers of Daughter’s,

Before reading my article today, I want you to go back  in memory to your childhood, and ask yourself, what kind of man was your father?

We will come back to this a little later.

Continue reading “Letter To Mothers With Daughters”

Happy Birthday Zoraya!

We Love You,  We Think About You,  We Miss You,  All the Time!

Zoraya - SV Week 9 003
ILoveandNeedmyDaughter.blogspot.com

She’s a soft cool rain on a hot summer’s day.

She makes me laugh with the funny things she has to say.

She’s the beat of my heart, and the air that I breathe.

She’s the sun and the wind, and autumn’s golden leaves.

She’s the pride that I feel when I know she’s done what’s right.

She’s that warm feeling I get, when I remember tucking her in at night.

You are a princess in my heart, and I care for you so much.I love the fondness in your eyes and your tender little touch.

I looked at you when you were born,And knew then straight away,That I would be forever hereTo watch you grow and play.

You bring to me a heart of joy, and memories so great,And a powerful sense of fatherhood that no one can debate.

I use to watch you sleep and dream of things that I can only wonder.

That innocent look upon your face just made my heart grow fonder.

I use to see you run and jump and shout and calling out my name…Papi!!

No love that I have ever known could ever feel the same.

No suffering or tragedy nor deeply seated pain could ever over shadow the bond that we retain.

And so my little princess before you go to sleep, Remember I am your daddy and I am yours to keep.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Happy Birthday to You!

We Love and Miss You So Much Zoraya!!

Continue reading “Happy Birthday Zoraya!”

Dads who are in a Messy Divorce w/Kids in the Middle?

Special Kind of Hell - 2016

Are You In a Messy Divorce w/Kids in the Middle?shared-parenting

Are you in a difficult divorce with children caught in the middle? Share your story with us–Iyanla Vanzant wants to hear from you.  Candidates can live anywhere in the United States and should be available to work with Iyanla in 2016.

Please go to form and fill out the fields and share your story so we can contact you for this once in a lifetime opportunity to join Iyanla on OWN.Tell Your Story - Blog 2015Please write a brief description about the conflict you would like resolved and who else is involved.  Please understand that those on both sides of the conflict will be asked to participate on a voluntary basis.

Dads: Is Your Ex Blocking You From Your Child?Dads - Is your ex blocking you from seeing your kid - 2016

OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network is looking for dads who cannot see their kid after divorce. If you are interested please fill out the form–this initiative has nothing to do with Erasing Family so please contact them with any questions. Best of luck!

The place for everything in Oprah’s world. Get health, beauty, recipes, money, decorating and relationship advice to live your best life on Oprah.com. 

I don’t know if this is an appropriate post for this group, and I know I am not a Father, or a man – I just felt inclined to write something from the perspective of a child – that has seen a father, my father, go through what so many of you are going through.

I know I can never fully fathom what my Father had went through, let alone the pain that is in all of your hearts, after being separated from your children – it’s absolutely devastating, and sickening that Mothers can turn so manipulative and mean, and cause so much pain, using children as a manipulation tactic against you. I know even after all of my Father’s rights were taken away (literally, from weekend visits, to supervised visits) because my Mother, like many of your ex’s lied to the court system, and completely eradicated any rights he did have.

My father once fought to the extremity to just even see us, call us, talk to us for five minutes on the phone, and it makes me so sad to know how much time had been wasted, not being able to even connect with my Father. With that being said there is hope, and this is what this comment was about. I know usually it does not come granted through the court system, since it’s completely biased, and one sided, but there is hope.

Never give up, because your children, everyday, think about you. Miss you, love you, and you are in their hearts and you will forever have a place there, there is nothing in this world that could replace you, you are planted there, like a tree, with roots of love that will never be eradicated by any court system, any manipulative mother, any lies, distance or time. I know there wasn’t a day that didn’t go by I didn’t think about my Father, and despite how I was deluded at a young age into believing my Father had neglected me, and abandoned me, i came to the realization the only person who lied to me was, of course, my Mother.

Through the pain, I still carried him with me in my heart, and everything that I am now, is because of the influence of my father – the memories I carried through out the years of him, the times we had together, most of my memories are tinged with him. I know this doesn’t change any of your situations. I don’t even know if this is appropriate. Just a comment of encouragement, reminding you all, that in all of your children’s heart, you are there – and you take up the vast majority. Despite your ex’s manipulative tactics, despite everything that has happened, despite the distance and time that goes by. You are there. In their hearts, and they will grow up and come to the realization, just how great of Fathers you all are. They will perceive further than the lies that their mothers have cast out, and when the courts or their Mothers have no hold on them anymore, they will find a way back to you.

Never give up – you are their light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how hard and how painful it is – and trust me, seeing how broken my father was, I have an idea of how hard it truly is, how much pain emitted from him. Again I cannot truly understand. I just wanted to tell you all, in case you were on the verge of giving up, or thinking that it’s too late, or that the mothers have completely brainwashed them. From the eyes of a child who saw this happen to my Father, just know. You are in our hearts, forever and always.

Keep fighting.

Amber Dawn – Nov 1Tell Your Story 2 - Blog 2015

You can help make a film to reunite families #erased by divorce courts. Donate at www.erasingfamily.org a donation of more than $50 gets a dedication to your kids or a thank you in the credits of Erasing Family

Erasing Family is a documentary in the making that will expose how #divorce courts #erase loving families causing #parentalalienation and #familybondobstruction
https://www.facebook.com/Erasing-Family-629372210537955/
www.twitter.com/erasingfamily
We just started an Instagram account! Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/erasingfamily/

http://standupforzoraya.tumblr.com/post/149892228352/childrens-rights-we-have-a-civil-right-to-be

https://secure.assets.tumblr.com/post.js

A Conversation with Donald Trump

August Newsletter, Read It Here!

Dear Friends,

This is the first opportunity I’ve had to tell you about my consequential trip to New York City on June 21st. I went there to meet with GOP presidential candidate (and now nominee) Donald Trump.

Continue reading “A Conversation with Donald Trump”

A rose by any other name … | the alienation experience

December 24 letter from Greenberg - Nixa Rose
“Changing a child last name (away from the father’s) is an act of venom”

A rose by any other name … | the alienation experience… would smell as sweet?!

Screen Shot 2015-04-28 at 14.45.20
From van Lawick & Visser’s paper on their ‘No kids in the middle’ project.

Alienation is more prickly than sweet! …

There are lots of reasons why we need a name for the pattern commonly called Parental Alienation.

Some people do great work with Alienated children and families but without using that label. So you won’t find their good work by Googling ‘Alienation’.

We want to feature two important papers on Alienation by another name. They go under our radar because they don’t use our word for it.

CONTACT DENIAL IS CHILD ABUSE - STAND UP FOR ZORAYA - 2016First though, there is already a very well known different name for Alienation … under which some very well known work with Alienated families has been described. Richard Warshak gives us his striking informal alternative name: Divorce Poison. It’s certainly been good at getting attention in the market place.

Why don’t we use that term more? Well, ‘divorce’ doesn’t include other family separation. Maybe Warshak’s is a more neutral description of general misery for the whole family?

But divorce poison – like Parental Alienation too – may picture one person doing the poisoning of someone else. So both terms carry the victim / blame picture. Poisoning sounds very medical, but otherwise ‘divorce poison’ doesn’t sound scientific enough to be taken seriously, does it? No label can convey both the one-sided-ness, as well as the subtler complexity of the pattern.

 

Incidentally, this victim / blame thing is why many professionals don’t like any of these terms. Maybe we should categorise PA / Divorce Poison along with other Child Abuses which are very widely accepted … despite the term Child Abuse meaning that there is a victim and perpetrating to sort out. It is widely recognised that PA is emotional abuse of the children … if you need any proof, just look up at that 7-year old’s drawing. The implied perpetrator in PA though would need to not be just one culpable individual, not even both parents. The perpetrator in PA is a more collective adult system – a collective culpability that includes legal and other professional and social agencies too. Read the van Lawick & Visser paper for how the wider social system can actually be involved in making things better.

Anyway, here’s the less well-known papers you might miss without our familiar tag on them.

David Pitcher: ‘Do you see what I see?’

Continue reading “A rose by any other name … | the alienation experience”